I’m about two years, eight months into being a mother. About one year, three months into being a mother of two, which is different. Wanting to have a baby and being a mother are two very different things in this world. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m hitting a stride in motherhood. I feel happy and confident and adaptable to whatever chaos is thrown in my lap (literally) every day.
The longevity of motherhood is sinking in, too. Obviously, it’s forever, but when you have little little babies, everything feels like you’re checking boxes to get to the next milestone, and you’re still you. There’s always next, and it’s a bit of a race, but at some point I stopped and realized life is really about here and now with the people they are in this moment. It changes so quickly, and we’ll never get this moment back.
As they can walk and talk and smack you in the face, the milestones get fewer and further between, less noticeable, but all of a sudden these little people just pop up in your face one day with their big feelings and strong opinions and hilarious jokes and they can only wear the fancy dress to school!!
And somehow the things you set down (just temporarily, you thought) to pick them up, stay there, and you start to feel different, too.
The where will we be in five years question is starting to sneak into a lot of the limited child-free conversations I have with my husband. What does my job look like when our kids are in school and we don’t want to send them to aftercare programs every day? Why am I spending so much time away from them while they’re little?
Who am I now?
I’m not who I was five years ago- little Amina with no responsibilities and infinite time and worries. Momina can carry 65 lbs of children up and down stairs. Momina can break up fights with just a foot and cook dinner simultaneously. Momina has no time, infinite responsibilities, but doesn’t worry so much.
Being a parent is the best (and the worst) but mostly the best. I love my life even if my me-time is lacking and sometimes I just want everyone to stop touching me. These little creatures need so much, and there’s so much to teach them, but also they give the most.
Love.
Perspective.
I have been trying to get back into art art lately. You know, the arty kind. But even in the infrequent spare moments I have without them to try to pick back up my pastels, they are all I think about.
Oil pastel and colored pencil on paper, 5/1/25.
Love this! The art and the perspective. I saw something recently that described parenthood as a series of short stories. At first you don’t know what’s going on and it’s all so new. Then once you settle in and don’t want it to end, that story is over and a new one begins. Thank you for sharing your current story. Happy Mother’s Day! ❤️